When it comes to the 3rd human species ‘transgender, co-gender, neutral gender, 3rd gender, 3rd sex or 3rd generation’, the males consider it as the other version of women, even when their voice, height and muscle resemble with men’s. There is a practical joke. They found two queues for collecting tickets in a cinema hall - one for the male and the other is for the female. Now they were confused which queue belonged to them or there should have been another line for them.
Their life is not smooth compared to the main genders’. They are outcast and not in the mainstream of the human race. As a result, they live separated from. As a matter of fact, they adopt various methods to earn their livelihood, even at times, unacceptable and violent.Expectations are many times more than can be fulfilled. The other day my friend asked me a question. Suppose you have taken your wife to all the countries. No country is left to visit like no country was left to win by Napoleon Bonaparte. The question is what she will tell you. Later I asked many others the similar question. They answered similarly. She will express her thanks for him. But my friend said. She will say: You have taken me to so many countries, so many places. But you have not yet taken me to the moon.
Most of the women keep saying: a woman wants this. She does not want that. She hates something. She likes it very much. Oh! He did it for his wife. He cares her so much. But my husband does not care me. I am so unlucky. She is so beautiful. I saw her there. Her husband looked at me crazily. But my husband never looks at me in that way. I am so unlucky. I wish my husband love me, care me and miss me. He used to love me so much but he does not care me anymore. They also keep asking: Do you love me like before? Will you leave me? When will you return? Will you take me to………….?
The fact is that every woman was powerless. They had no choice of their own. In course of time, their social status has risen to a private car. On the other hand, man’s status remains static - a truck. Women sovereignty has made them over-use the word ‘love’. As a result, it has taken a different and seemingly black hue. It was a white horse but is a dead horse now. Its beauty is evaporated but has not returned as rainfall. Probably, it is busy trying to damage the ozone layer. It is still meaningful but meaninglessly; mainly because of the media. So, it is a ‘dead-horse’ because it is killed by the mobile phone and Facebook in particular. A female Facebook post is usually replete with this very word. As the word is commonly over-used mostly by the female, it has lost its philosophical meaning. To regenerate its lost beauty, the female may be advised to refrain from using this word in discussions and via media for quite some time.
Now the question is how you can avoid the word. It may be replaced by another word 'care'. You had better care her or care him. You can say you care him instead. You should promise to yourself silently that you will take good care of him. So, love a few. And help everyone but expect its return from few of them. Actually, the very word 'love' denotes something commonly but connotes something else philosophically. To love means you also care him/her. Outwardly, you say you love her but you do not take care of her. It is not the love in true sense.The real love lies in helping the partner and others. The fake love lies in taking advantages from the partner and others. All may be advised to be in search of those (rare) who are in search of love from others and to make efforts to avoid those (common) who are in search of advantages from others.
Commonly said, ‘Some drink milk selling bear and some others drink bear selling milk’. Likewise, some discuss dirty things in such a way it sounds nice and comfortable. Similarly, some others can discuss sacred, beautiful, beneficial things in such a way that it will sound nasty and uncomfortable. For example, a discussion on ‘love’ is as follows.
Love may be considered as a kg of brinjal or onion or ladies’ fingers (okra/dherosh). How can you buy it? Definitely by spending some money. Likewise, you can also buy ‘love’ spending some money. But the only difference between them is the kinds of money. To buy brinjal you need money, say, 20 to 50 taka but to buy ‘love’ you also need money, say, sacrifice, patience, perseverance, respect, affection, proper direction or supervision or even waiting. Contrarily, you can buy ‘hatred’, ‘enmity’ or even ‘punishment’ if you earn benefit by force, adopting unfair means, hoodwink etc. The choice is absolutely yours. You have money to buy any commodity or you have naked things to buy hatred or you have some precious things like sacrifice, patience and respect to buy ‘love’.
Power varies from context to context and situation to situation like a sound wave or the ECG report - at one point very high, at another very low and the same again and again. Similarly, we have seen something special in Jonathan’s novel (prose) “Gulliver’s travels”. Gulliver was 6 feet tall but was in the midst of Lilliputians who were as tiny as 6 inches in height. In his 2nd voyage, he ended up being in the midst of Brobdingnagians who were 60 feet tall. In the same way, females were Lilliputians and males were Gulliver. Now Gulliver is in the midst of Brobdingnagians. The average males are Gulliver, and particularly, the modern females are Brobdingnagians.
It was in February 2002. While travelling with Joel Brehman towards Kuakata, he commented on the worst condition of the road saying “We’re going to Kuakata dancing”. Then I said, “This is the worst road in Bangladesh”. He said again, “This is the best road in Africa”. He elaborated some of the ideas of his son and daughter-in-law regarding their stay over Africa for 13 years. According to the overall situations, the co-existence of a woman and a man may become healthier and more compatible if we follow the example Ôeb¨iv e‡b my›`i, wkïiv gvZ…µ‡oÕ (The wild are suitable in the forest, so are the children on their mother’s lap).
The writer is Assistant Professor of English & Director of Language Centre at University of Information Technology & Sciences (UITS).