Boardrooms and Bedroom Chores

The term ‘superwoman’ is often misused to express women’s empowerment and the dual role women play between office boardrooms and bedrooms at home. From banners to TV commercials, this duality is promoted without realising that this is just the tip of the iceberg. At the beginning of human civilisation, women mostly remained home-centric due to agricultural and domestic reasons. However, over time, during the mid-20th century, wages and living costs for middle-class families could not be balanced. As a result, women of the era entered the workforce out of both financial necessity and a desire for independence.
Nevertheless, one thing that certainly did not change is the invisible expectation that women need to ‘meet’ at home, so that they are allowed to have the freedom to work. Every working woman has the unseen responsibility of entering the kitchen as soon as they enter their house. If she fails, her capability of being responsible towards her family is questioned. The narrative that goes completely ignored is that the labour she pours into her housework is never appreciated, nor paid. The term housework means the chores that need to be carried out daily. As the members who are living in it have equal rights to it, the responsibility of housework must also be shared among them. Yet, in the context of Bangladesh, this is a rare scenario. 
Cultural change is like the flow of a river; it changes over time. People adapt whatever they think helps them look modernised. Hence, the gender roles in society are expected to change as well. For example, educating girls and encouraging them to work have become part of our changing culture.

Yet, the women in the families, for their ability to balance the duality of their responsibilities, are often overlooked. Furthermore, the male figures who take part in appreciating and doing household chores are teased or taunted. As a result, they back off from taking part in and being present in the family responsibilities. The issue has stood still for decades, because the solution requires not just individual acknowledgement but also collective initiative. 

The simplest and most effective way to ingrain something among a nation is to be taught before it is practised. Before, men in our society were expected to practise; it is essential to introduce the concept and teach them primarily. An effective approach could be to adapt and incorporate such concepts into the textbooks. Another way to introduce such concepts would be through setting examples by the influential people of the society, which includes major political figures, scholars, etc. Their investment and appreciation help the common people get used to such foreign ideas and accept them with an easier approach. However, these are just ideologies that are yet to come to life. The reality is exactly the opposite of these ideologies. I have very much lived the duality myself. Being the eldest in the family always required me to outperform others to walk on the same milestones I had set. As my younger brother started college and eventually moved in with me, I was expected to cook for him daily, while I was maintaining both my university and office responsibilities. If I ever failed to make him freshly cooked meals, an invisible guilt would surround me.
The thing is, I was never bound to carry out the responsibilities, but I was expected to manage it all. This is exactly what most women in society undergo. They are allowed to work outside their home only if their family life and house chores are carried out well. The issue is not confined only to the four walls of one’s house; it is something that is deeply ingrained in our societal norms. Therefore, to run the society in harmony, we must not forget what Kazi Nazrul Islam said: “we‡k¦ hv-wKQz gnvb m„wó wPi-Kj¨vYKi, A‡a©K Zvi Kwi‡q‡Q bvix, A‡a©K Zvi bi” (Whatever great and eternally beneficial creations exist in the world/ Women have done half of that, men have done the other half).
The ultimate modernisation of society cannot be determined by having her presence in the boardrooms; it can be defined by sharing responsibilities in the bedrooms. Celebrating the term ‘superwoman’ is merely a facade that glorifies exhaustion; it is high time for society to expect women to do it all and share the load, so that modern women can actually step into the reality of true equality. 

The writer is with the Daily Sun