Tulip Chowdhury

For families across the current world, having meals together has become a thing of the past. If some of them manage to hold on to the family rule, “Dinner Together”; for others, it is members eating outside or choosing to eat in the quietness of their own rooms. For people juggling work and home, making it all work, the concept of a daily family gathering around the dining table is like trying to gather loose strands from a ball of wool. The happenings and time roll on; the gathering is tough.

The concept of dining together stems from having quality time over quantity. When times were less competitive for adults in a family, it was easier to manage quality time over quantity — people bonded over sitting together, whether for food or tea. The dinner was preferable since, at the end of the day, family members can be together and settle in for the day. The adults could catch up on the schoolwork and the extracurricular activities, allowing the younger members to share any lingering questions. Healthy communication had a place at the end of the day, and a line to begin from the next.

Studies show that eating together at least four or five days a week helps children in their overall healthy development of both mental and physical wellbeing. When children eat alone, the chances of eating more junk food are higher than when they eat together, especially when a healthier menu is available. Not only dinner, but even snack times when eating with parents and siblings have a better chance of learning about food choices, as parents share both good and bad decisions in their daily eating habits. The cornerstone of many life lessons begins at home; in the gathering of parents, siblings and extended family members, children learn to adjust and accept the people around them.

It is challenging to integrate family eating time when the teen in the family might be working after school or has shared homework assignments, or when either parent has a late work schedule—all unavoidable situations that keep them away from the valuable time to share with their family. The advice from the experts is to set aside as many days as possible, if not the whole week, to unite as a family. Prior to setting the days, engage in healthy conversation and respect each other’s routines before coming to a conclusion. The mutual share allows the others to understand that each one matters and that whether it’s school work or office work, there is a place to meet in the middle. The biggest takeaway is that standing for each other as a family matter and lending a shoulder to others who need help matters.

When the family is together around a table for dinner or tea, avoiding distractions such as cellphones and other gadgets is key to bonding one-on-one. Five members of a family may sit together, each busy on a cellphone or other screen, but not be connected. Our physical selves are close to one another, but mentally, we are far away. Cellphones are a necessity in modern life, as is the importance of sharing family values and learning about cultural integrations that make us who we are. When setting aside days and times for family time, drawing a line to bring gadgets to the table is like opening the window to let the morning sun shine in. The breaking of a shell is necessary to allow a shoot to emerge and grow. The question of priorities will always be debated, time and tide will want to reach their goals. We choose moments that matter then and there.

For incentives to promote family togetherness, choosing food commonly liked or taking one at a time is key. When planning meals, a good chance to have voices meet is to incorporate individual choices. A running conversation about sports, a trending movie, books and politics can be a springboard to many great gatherings. All the shared things, big and small, make up the making of a family, at home, and build up to the unity of a society. 

The world will run on a whirlwind of its own, love will keep us centered as families, big and small, while words may give guidance. “Love is a verb,” says Sara Barber-Just, a distinguished teacher and journalist. Love needs action to make it real. Healthy bonding within the family is the stepping stone to building communities. And when it comes to food, it is the universal thread that brings us together.

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Tulip Chowdhury writes from Georgia, Massachusetts