Recently, a 19-year-old girl in Bangladesh filed a case of child abuse and mental torture against her parents. She called her parents "criminals" and "child abusers" and said that they had abused her since birth. She alleged regular abuse, humiliation, and physical torture. The girl has raised allegations against her parents in the media, and the matter has gone viral on social media.

Public opinion on social media is divided regarding the girl's behaviour. Some people criticised her, labeling her as arrogant and disrespectful. In contrast, others blamed her parents for not instilling values like humility, patience, and manners in their children. As a result, the girl exhibits rude and overconfident behavior. The case has shaken the foundation of the so-called traditional parenthood system in Bangladesh.

The incident has ignited a new debate among the Bangladeshi public: Are behavioural problems increasing among Gen Z? Is Gen Z becoming more rude, arrogant, and impatient? Let us discuss this issue in detail.

It is a significant psychological phenomenon that recurs in every generation. It is known in social psychology as a well-documented bias called "kids these days effects." Sometimes people say that “The children of the new generation are lazy, rude, and do not listen to family members. Our generation was not like that.” Research has shown that adults of every generation believe their generation is considered more intelligent than the current one; however, the new generation is often perceived as less respectful and less disciplined. It is a memory illusion. Here, a person idealises their past, thinking of their childhood as a golden era, where they had the correct behaviour. For example, many older people have said that the prior study was challenging, but the current study is straightforward.

In reality, parents would make the same complaints about their children. Every generation goes through a cycle. If you go back 100, 200, or even a thousand years, you will see that various books were written about how parents at that time felt that their new generation of children was deteriorating day by day.

In 700 BC, The ancient Greek poet Hesiod lamented the younger generation, writing, "I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient with restraint." Aristotle wrote about similar things.

In 1750, the English writer Samuel Johnson identified a pattern in this matter. He was saying, "Every older man complains of the growing depravity of the world, of the petulance and insolence of the rising generation.

It can be understood that the effects of kids these days are well-documented in social science. Even acknowledging these issues, it cannot be said that everything is going perfectly in the new generation. It is also true that today's children are rude and arrogant.

The actual question that arises in everyone's mind is: why do they behave like this? There are different reasons for different behaviours. Now, let us shed some light on that.

The first issue is the development of psychology. 40 research studies have shown that young children often overestimate their knowledge. Young children often struggle to assess their own knowledge and abilities accurately. Therefore, they do not fully understand how much they know and what they can do, and this ability develops during their late elementary school years. That is why a 10-year-old child may think they know everything. Truly, he knows nothing. It is a typical bias, but under pressure, it can look like arrogance.

The second issue is six-pocket syndrome. In the present century, there have been some changes in society that have not been observed in society for 1000 years. Currently, single-child or dual-child families are more common. Where six family members always pay attention to a child. Such as parents and four grandparents. Here, six people in the family are ready to fulfill the demand of one child. It is known as the six-pocket syndrome. Consequently, children get more attention. So children start thinking that the whole world revolves around them. Moreover, this attention gradually changes the entitlement. They feel like little princes or princesses. Whatever they want, their family will immediately fulfill it. As a result, it contributes to the development of bad behavior. When they enter the real world, they realise that life does not revolve around them. In reality, it is not possible to have everything they desire. This realisation can lead to feelings of arrogance.

The third reason is paternal overvaluation. Some people call it the Apple of Daddy's eyes. Here, parents repeatedly tell their children that they are exceptional and extraordinary compared to other people. As a result, children feel more entitled. As a result, narcissistic personality development can be created in these children. It is good to make children feel special, but if you do it excessively, there is a possibility that their behavior will be misbehaved. By doing this, the message conveyed to the children is that if you are smart and talented, then you can exhibit a little attitude and rudeness.

The fourth issue is stopping to say "no". The problem for parents in Bangladesh today is that they often struggle to say "no" to their children. Most parents today are fighting a losing battle in disciplining their children. Earlier, children grew up in joint families, but now they grow up in nuclear families. As a result, children's attention and behavioral monitoring are often done in joint families, which is not possible in nuclear families today. Although there are individuals who teach respect and etiquette in joint families, such guidance is often lacking in nuclear families. A study has shown that children in joint families tend to exhibit fewer behavioral problems compared to those in nuclear families; furthermore, their social and emotional development is generally more advanced.

The last reason is parents' behaviour. Children learn everything from their parents; therefore, children will behave as their parents behave. Most parents in Bangladesh quarrel in front of their children, talk loudly in front of each other, and throw dirt everywhere. It negatively impacts children's mental health and leads to arrogance and rudeness.

What is the solution to all this? In our conventional thinking, many people think that hitting or beating these children will reduce all this madness. Many people think that if a child behaved like this before, he would be put to death with a slap. Such thinking is really a big mistake. It is referred to as corporal punishment in psychology. Corporal punishment is a common and normalised practice in the social parenting system of Bangladesh. Starting from home to school, it is said everywhere that if you do not read, you will have to be beaten. If you do wrong, you will be punished. If you look at it superficially, all these punishments will seem very effective. However, here the child becomes silent out of fear and starts to comply well.

Inherently, children's minds are always curious. A good example is those parents who have been telling their children all their lives that alcohol and cigarettes are not good, when these children grow up, they start drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes because they had a lot of curiosity about these things in their minds. Because none of them has been told the real reason.

There are also some negative aspects of corporal punishment, such as children who are beaten more often. Later, aggressiveness, antisocial behavior, and mental health deteriorate in those children. In the long run, their confidence is low. Through repeated punishment and fear, the notion is instilled that to achieve something in the world, one must do so through fear and threats. A question may now arise about how to raise our children.

Although fearless parenting has been discouraged in modern Bangladeshi suburbs and schools, there is now a lack of positive parenting education in schools and families in Bangladesh. Consequently, even fear is gone among children, and correct behavior is not being taught. The simple solution to these problems is balanced parenting. Neither being too soft nor too strict. In psychology, it is referred to as Authoritative parenting. Authoritative parenting is a balanced approach where parents set clear expectations and rules while being responsive, supportive, and communicative with their children. Parents and children consistently follow specific limits. While "authoritative" is derived from "authoritarian," their meanings differ. Authoritarian parenting is a strict style characterized by high demands and low responsiveness, with a focus on obedience and control, where parents expect children to follow rules without question.

The best way to teach good behavior is first to change the parents. First, you should behave in a way that you expect from your child. For example, do not throw garbage anywhere; instead, dispose of it in a designated area. Also, avoid being overconfident and arrogant in front of others. Always speak with empathy. Also, refrain from quarreling in front of children.

Again, after doing all this, if the child misbehaves, you should tell him orally and explain the content in detail. Why is it bad? What can be the result of it, and force the child to think? It cannot be assumed that he will learn after being told once. Children should be taught repeatedly. Children should be taught with logic without scaring them.

The writer is a student of the department of Journalism and Media Studies, Jahangirnagar University