Love is a complex issue. Reasons cannot clarify it. When emotions take over the issue, it becomes simple. As a typical female defines love emotionally, it is much more simple to her than a typical male. As a result, the aftermaths become tragic mostly but at times, it is soothing. Love is the abode which is built in emotions. The more it takes the help of reasons, the less the love stays. It is like the eclipse. Here, reasons play the role of the earth. When the reasons are in the way, the love eclipse takes place. When the emotions are in the way, the life eclipse occurs.
Here, according to my personal speculations, the equations are: life = love; emotions = the Moon; and the reasons = the Sun. If you are under the influence of emotions, you will detest the Sun and love the Moon. As a result, you will enjoy life mentally. Contrarily, if you are under the influence of reasons, you will love the Sun. As a result, you will face the real life and enjoy it scientifically. There is a popular joke. What do you want? The Moon or the Sun? The answer is the Moon. The reason is that the Sun rises in the day but the Moon rises at night.That is why you need the balance of emotions and reasons in you. In case of a child, it does not matter. In case of others - both the male and the female - it matters substantially. For example, a high-graded doctor studied voraciously and continuously. After his studies are over, he falls prey into the harvesting period. He cannot help earning voraciously and continuously. In cases, his wife is opposite. She had been a butterfly before marriage and now has been a caterpillar instead.
The husband is a tube to a wife. If he loves her, he is the tube filled with air. Now, she wants to travel. If he does not love her, he is the flat tyre. She cannot travel. She falls into the prey of despair. She knows she needs his love but she does not know he needs her care, not her love in true sense. As she was a butterfly before marriage, she became a caterpillar after marriage. She does not know how she can be caring. She does not know this ‘caring’ will generate love in her husband. Since she is a caterpillar, she eats up his love continuously. As she is devoid of caring, her husband has turned devoid of loving. Now, she wants nothing but her husband’s love for her. Here, love is the commodity. If she can care him properly, she can buy her husband’s love for her.
Well, a girl has a masterplan. It is controlled by a checklist. Every girl draws a super effective checklist. When a boy can check her checklist judiciously, she accepts his love proposal. Her checklist includes love, care, confidence, above all, his personality. And this is an open secret to an expert boy. As he was into quite a few relationships, he knows how to check the checklist artificially. Even when the other boys were genuine, they could not fill up the checklist and were rejected right away. Now after her marriage, the husband has unchecked the checklist. He is no more caring. He is totally short of love. And he is busy to show his personality to other girls.
The best is that she can prepare a checklist impeccably but the worst is that her question paper leaks out. It is now in the hand of a shrewd, unscrupulous and uncouth boy. He has fun with girls, and in addition, he gets trained up. In the Valentine’s Day, this boy becomes her valentine’s, no matter whose valentine was he last year and whose valentine will he be in the subsequent years. However, let me review the saddest story of the Valentine’s Day.
One of the martyrdom stories is that Saint Valentine of Rome was imprisoned for a noble cause. He performed marriages for the soldiers. The problem is that these soldiers persecuted under the Roman Empire were forbidden to marry. And it was not all. He also converted them into Christianity.
His name was Valentinus. He also healed the jailer’s daughter Asterius during his detention. Before his death sentence was executed he wrote a letter. It was addressed to Asterius and undersigned ‘Your Valentine’. It was just a note of farewell but it implies his deep sorrows for the injustice to his life.
Accordingly, there was an invaluable sacrifice to his life for the happiness of the soldiers and their peace in the hereafter. Still people invariably distort the fact for an unavoidable and encouraging cause. And the cause is that everyone should support it in order that they forget the pain and can have some fun. If the youngsters in particular try to realise the injustice that fell upon Valentinus, they cannot observe or celebrate the Valentine’s Day merrily. They cannot have good time together - boys and girls, husbands and wives - to their full content. Here lies the converted philosophy of the Saint Valentinus.
And to become a girl’s valentine, a boy adopts various techniques. Unless he proves he loves a girl, she will not let him come in contact with her. That is why, he needs a proper training. Especially in the western world, many experts have opened online and offline coaching to train up the aspirant valentines. These trainers and teachers are well-paid experts. With their advice, the males become smarter and can draw the invaluable attention of their female valentines. In course of time, the females discover that these males were not their real valentines.
However, the past of their relationship was really momentous. The males are still happy with it. The past for the females was even much more momentous during the affairs. The only difference is that many of these females have been unhappy now. It is almost opposite to many of the Bangladeshi films where Shabana starred. She remained so sad and kept shedding tears all through the film but she smiled in the end - a perfect example of a defined comedy.
The writer is Assistant Professor of English and Director of Language Centre at University of Information Technology & Sciences (UITS).